I straight up left the church

At the time I was so covered in shame…I couldn’t even name it as shame.

Most Christians weren’t safe (so many thoughts on why that was..for another time).

I certainly wouldn’t have ever wanted to work again with a therapist or coach who marketed themselves as a “Christian therapist/trauma-coach, healer, etc”

No. Thank. You.

The words in Scripture spoke condemnation over my life and my circumstances.  This was my experience.

I wouldn’t touch the Bible.

In 2021 I gifted my siblings and parents books from Alabaster Co … I was only half planning to read through the Psalms one myself, but it was BEAUTIFUL!

Somehow I started paging through it.  Because it’s bound in a different format from other Bible’s, it felt safe.  It was as if I could create distance between myself and the words I was reading.  I didn’t have to internalize the words any longer.  I could simply read.

One Psalm at a time, the WORDS came to life because they were HONEST.

The writer was sharing experience after experience where he felt far from God.  He felt like others were coming after him.  He didn’t feel safe.  He felt abandoned, lost, confused, and ANGRY.

Was God ever NOT on His throne?

NO.

God was always on His throne.

Did the writer FEEL like God was on His throne?

HELL NO.

Our experience matters.  And God cares enough about us that real life experiences are included in His Word.

And even more so, God cares enough about our experience on earth that He chose to LIVE IT HIMSELF in the person of Jesus.